Ad Infinitum

A never ending carnival of thoughts


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Purely an outcome of vella-ism..

PS: and not-so-great cam..


Musical August !

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Late post, Apologies!!
(no internet connection and a wrecked lappy are to be blamed)

Since the last post, i've been to delhi n back, having spent the last month in the most B'ful of fashionz. The Best August ever.

Started off wid a day at the delhi-haat in the Scorching Heat the city is famous for (well, after a month of rains in mumbai, the heat Does look pleasant, trust me! )with some wonderful people u've been eagerly wanting to meet, old memories being revived..

A guitaring event at Barista (KNags) where u meet some more wonderful people, people u've been dying to meet, get to hear some Awesome Vocals and Great Guitaring with melodies filling up the air & Chords echoing from the walls..

Friendship Day at a bookstore in CP, spending time sipping coffee n reading, chatting endlessly for hours with a dear friend.

Then the Most Awaited day, VoidStar performing at barista, special people, special songs, special day.. Cudn't help getting lost (in the music).

The joy of meeting ur twin-soul (ben) after years. Seeing one of the dearest of best(est) of friends, lol, that too unexpectedly when u were wishing lik crazy to meet.. wow!

The release of 'Rock on!', a movie you had waited for since june and actually getting to watch it Twice..

Many ....... evenings with some wonderful people, at a wonderful place making it a wonderful day ( yet to coin a word to describe them, hence the blank.. hehe)

Getting choked a couple of times, staying up at night (4am a few times) and getting up late (afternoon), no one to keep a check on the sleeping hours ;)
Smiling eyes, hurting cheeks and what not.

Ya, it was a 'Carnival' of sorts as a friend put it, but to me :

'A month of Smiles, Laughter n Melody'

So, music stringing some magical moments together, giving me d time of my Life... Life Is Musical! And some Musical Month it was!

Music can be pure magic
When u least expect it.
Can turn sunsets into symphonies.
Weave storms into pictures.
Add rythm to a breeze.
Can bring you old memories
Or help you make new ones.
And on a Perfect Day
The Perfect Note can fly you
Across oceans to Wonderful Places.

(nt an original, just a modification of the real one)

PS: its back to the rains for now.


Loved Ones

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

A poem for near and dear ones...
My poems are never rhyming properly coz in my case concentrating on the rhyme distorts the emotions involved.

So Here it is:

When tears trickle down their face
They look for comfort and you are there
Not knowing what to say or do ,
Makes it hard and sad for you.

You try to put their smile back on
Wish their troubles would soon be gone
And when u see them crying still ,
You feel helpless,disappointed in urself

They hold you tight and just won't stop
You ask them why, what happened, whats wrong
And let them know you are there for them
But it makes them cry even harder still.

Howmuch u try to hold ur tears
Howmuch u try to show u r strong
You forget, the bond is just so strong,
And a small one rolls down ur own.

You hug each other
and exchange smiles.
Nothing feels more important.
Anything, for even a faint smile.

PS: Thought a LOT about Mal while writing this. :)


Chat Box

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

This is to inform the spammers (Nishi n Ankit) that i have placed a Chat Box on the blog and they are welcome to carry on their conversations there... n leave the Commentosphere( as per CJ) untampered by their gracious presence ;) Lol

Honestly, a nice way to conference :) Try it out!!


A Musical Tag !!!!

Monday, June 16, 2008

I wonder how during xams we manage to steal a few minutes to update our blogs amid all the pressure and during vacations, inspite of the 'vella-giri", we keep visiting other blogs hoping to find something new and completely forget our own blogs. How ironic is that???

For me, boredom ki hadein par ho rahi hain, can't go outside because of the rains, don't feel like staying inside the whole day so i just keep sitting by the window with my lappy.... haven't seen too many 'Blog updated!' msgs ,not even from D-Nishi ;) haven't written anything new myself .

I cud feel my blog begging for updation so i gave it a makeover sorta... ( some colors and a picture too, u happy nishi?)... came across an interesting tag, called the 'Musical Tag' n cudn't stop myself from doing it.

All you have to do is :
Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle.
For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
You must write the name of the song no matter what.

"I solemnly resolve to be extremely honest with this tag "
1. If someone says "Is This Okay?" you say?
Metallica- Fade to Black
// Amazing song, but no connection with the above.

2. What would best describe your personality?
Coldplay - See you soon
// (I dedicate this song to all of my friends)

3. What do u like in a guy/girl?
Silk Route - Boondein
// tear drops...i love to see them cry ;) lol

4. How do u feel today?
Eric Clapton - Cocaine
// wud feel GREAT!!! but After having that...

5. Whats your life's purpose?
Vanessa carlton - Hands on Me

6. What is your motto?
Pink Floyd - House of the Rising sun
// then my motto shd be to spend my life in sin n misery in the house of the rising sun. (will surely go places with That motto)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Creed - One Last Breath
//Is it so???

8.What do u think of your parents?
Sona Mahapatra - Bolo na
// its the other way actually ,"bolo na kya hua...yeh tumko kya hua...hui aisi baat kya"... makes sense that way.

9. What is 2+2??
Seether n Amy Lee - Broken
// Dfntly went to the Wrong school in kindergarten .

10. What do u think of your best friend?
GnR - Knocking on Heaven's door
//" It wouldn't be luck if u got out of life alive"... lol

11. What do you think of the person you like?
Alanis Morsette - Head over Feet

12. What is your life story?
Outlandish - Aicha
//"so sweet so beautiful....shining like a star'' somewhat but nt exactly...

13. What do u want to be when you grow up?
Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
//Who wants to be bubbly when they grow up???//ridiculous!! not the song but the combination...songz awsm!!

14. What do ur parents think of you?
Aerosmith - Dream on
//they want me to dream big n yup, sing too...

15. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Niravana - Lake of Fire
//wedding pe dying wala song... quite scary... this correctly answers the next quesn tho...

16. What will they play at ur funeral?
Coldplay - Fix you
//this song talks of certainly d wrong 1.

17. What is your hobby/Interest?
Nirvana - Half the man I used to be
//the song has "makes me wanna steal"n "guess i like to steal" (i cud b a kleptomaniac..who knwz..;))

18. What is your biggest secret?
Mohit Chauhan - Guncha
// Ahhhhhh!... nw u All know i drink ;) lol

19. What do u think of ur friends?
Coldplay - Violet Hills
// no connection.

20. What do u think about very often?
Metallica - Turn the Page
// "later in the evening as u lie awake in bed, echos of the amplifiers ringin in ur head"...Nice one.

21. What do you think when you see the person you like?
Green Day - Wake me up when September ends
//yeah! rite...i go back to sleep n ask him to wake me up when sepember i hv nothing else to do.

22. What would u post this as?
Scorpians - Wind of Change
//this post Has brought a change today... lessened the boredom that is...

Had a lot of fun trying make some sense out of the Q&Ans... Try it out guys!!!

I Tag :: Nishi, siddhi, chiran, Gaurav sir, Brij n rabi (phirse banale ek blog! is baar delete mat kariyo).

PS: Visitor Count crosses 1000!!! Yay!!!
(Thanks to the spammers!!! lol, C, Not taking any credit ;) )


Me against Myself

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Recently i was going thru my stuff of school days n i found a crushd page & on it were scribbled sum lines...upon reading, something had hit me so hard that i still have no words to was a poem that reminded me of the time wen i was fighting with myself...
Warning: only ppl with a strong heart read this....

It goes like this :

There is a face inside me
watching, mocking, laughing
I feel like im stripped down
ripped apart from my soul

It judges me, scares me
makes me feel im nothing
Its so hard to face it
look! its watching me again.

I try hard to be ,what it wants me to be
I know i can't , but i still try
but it just won't let go of me
I seem a stranger to myself

It reminds me of
chains i can't break out of
haunts me like a dark shadow
blocking the light & the world

Nothingness has crept into me
and it suffocates me to death
Im paranoid trying to please it
but it upsets me everyday

And it'll kill me,thats my worst fear
Coz i just seem a stranger to myself.

PS: thats wat dth mtl can do to ppl, i guess....lot of depression there...i hd started obsessing abt commiting a suicide...glad tht i finally gt out of it...:)


Anniversary !!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Yay!!! Today my blog completes a year...
n i take this opportunity to thank a lot of people :

I wud like to thank my mom, my dad , my pet , my laptop...and also the google team for providing me such a platform...

lol, but seriously, I thank all people who hv read the posts and
survived even still n also those people who visited (supposedly liked
it) & left no comments. That leaves me clueless abt such ppl untill someday in the middle of a converstaion sum1 wud just say 'u know, I read ur blog n likd it..' or something like 'u'v gt an interesting blog there'...or 'Im a regular visitor of ur blog, maine sari posts padhi hui hain'...i just hv to say, 'HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT'....

And a BIG thank you to nishi, siddhi n rabi for being sooooo regular....;)

Thank you all 4 coming...

PS: don't hv enuf posts under my belt now but you guys wud see an improvement this year...hopefully..;)



Friday, May 02, 2008

What do u do wen you know u hv a paper in which you r sure nt to pass....language in the book just seems russian to you....and wen u look at prev. yearz quesn papers you spend time thinking and asking people which chapter the questions r from....(you don't need guesses for this one...guys, i AM talking about graphics)

So, I just thought of utilizing time n completing the tag which someone passed to me in November last year....quite late...i knw tht

1> Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.

I have a scar on my forehead(on the right n its not lightning shaped, incase ur wonderin :)) a few stitches there when i was in 3rd or 4th grade n i gt it from my bro when he slammed me against the wall( v used to fight a lot)

2> What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Rite now, a Kurt Cobain poster(nt that im a gr8 fan or anything but admire a few things in him) and a few cuttings of my fav. bands plus some lyrics that i like a lot....aise hi paste kara hua hai wall pe

3> What is your current desktop picture?

Desktop pic changes with my mood...rite nw i have a pic from barista as my wallpaper...whenevr i gt self-obssessed i put a pic of myself(though nt usually)....:)

4> Do you believe in gay marriage?

Its each-to-his-own thngy...won't recommend anyone...personally, a BIG no....

5> What do you want more than anything right now?

Someone who can teach me graphics n help me pass...honestly!

6> Are your parents still together?

Hell yeah!

7> Last person who made you cry?

I don't usually cry that often...only when the water gets way over-the-mark wud you see me crying(never in front of anyone else)...hard to recall when i cried the last but if you talk about 'khushi k ansu'...i guess i was in tears when i read the poem nishi wrote for me...

8> What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

Perfume : Hugo Boss n Deo: emotions, fa, mtv plugged.

9> What are you listening to?

rite nw 'guncha', before that 'turn the page'

10> Do you get scared of the dark?

yup, if im spell the truth, i believe in ghosts too n am very scared of the thought of being alone in dark...

11> Do you like pain killers?

what kind of a question is this?...will skip it

12> Are you too shy to ask someone out?

ummm....haven't done that actually but if i really like someone n know his side of the story 2 then maybe(shd be a now or never situation), shy-no...apprehensive abt things-yes

13> If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

chocolate truffle pastry with lots of vanila icecream

14> Who was the last person who made you mad?

not exactly 'mad' but felt a bit 'wierd'...someone to whom a msg got sent by mistake n that person interpreted it wrongly...:)...felt like kikin actually bothered me...

15> Is someone in love with you?

you never know!!!

Done with it......time utilized.....n i tag anyone who wants to do this since everyone else has already been tagged.....adios!!!

PS: if things remain the same(no studies + no hope) then 'next post door nahin'


Things I want to do before i die

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Just 3 days left for exams but Im sick n tired of it so much already that I'd rather post something here than see the face of ' Elements of Theory Of Computation by Cohen '. So I penned a few things that I always wished....

Here are a some things that I really want to do before i die.....rather they r things that i wish i could do ( coz sm things seem impossible...)
It goes like this:

  1. Take a tour of the world specially Rome and highlands n meadows of Ireland.
  2. Learn French , trust me.... i tried doing that in the 1st sem...had 1st sem exams nt been there during that time, i could cut off one thing from my wishlist. As of now, I just remember 'bonjour' and a few other greetings...
  3. Watch a cricket match from the pavillion.
  4. Learn swimming, coz i've always had a fear of water.
  5. Become more organised and an early-to-bed-early-to-rise person. This is one problem my dad has always had with me....
  6. Become a pro in guitaring, n hopefully have a band of my own....This has been my dream since i don know when....... hv had endless discussions on this with Marilyn, Ben and Nilu.....if u guys are reading, just want you to know that i really miss those days....
  7. Open an old age home , shreya n u guys remember our plans of going to old age homes on sundays...which unfortunately never came true ofcourse....
  8. Go to Goa with friends......this is one wish that i think is really gettable......guys r u listening??......ab to plan bana lo yaar...........
  9. This ones a bit hypothetical.....if i could find Hermione's time turner or could turn back time, I wish to relive 5-6 yrs again ....
  10. Finally, the last onez out of frustration, actually......I wish to get into Imperial College by hook or by crook nw...coz i've already been rejected twice...once for bachelors n now for postgrad.....if anyone reading this has gt any sources placed there, plz, feel free to contact....i am dying to get in....

PS: Nishi i guess we can start our french classes again after exams.....that would give me another reason to stay in


The Realization

Friday, February 01, 2008

After a long day I return to my room , feeling tired I walk towards the bed and on the way I pass a small mandir that we have kept in the room. I try to recall the day when I actually stood in front of it and prayed in the usual manner. I get no answer from myself, feeling ashamed I advance towards the bed with a lot of thoughts circling the mind.

Am I being true to my religion?…
Have I gotten so consumed in the cobwebs of life that I don’t have time for god?
And a lot more thoughts that I couldn’t answer.

The realization was a bit disturbing…But somewhere inside I knew what importance god has for me & thought of the endless times when I felt my problems dissolve without much toil…times when I had lost hope but still had faith…

I thought, even though I don’t pray on a regular basis or practice the rituals that my religion involves, I feel the presence of a supreme being, a positive force and a guiding light. There is someone I can turn to when things don’t go well….someone I can blame …someone I can rely on….one who fills me with positivity and the one I fear from if I am doing something wrong…this someone whom I can speak with when I m alone is what I call GOD.

Everyone of us has this god with him and it doesn’t matter whether we are Hindus, Muslims or Christians…we all feel his presence…so the manner in which we communicate with him doesn’t matter…

Religions seek god…they present a way to communicate.…ways are different for each one but god is the same so why not give space to each person to talk to god in his own manner…why all the fuss about religion…why wars…why crusades…

Thinking that , my thoughts came back to the room. No guilt…no shame…I thanked god for being there with me…and I followed it up with a slumber in peace…


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